Nothing block

Sit...Stare...and stare again!
in a state of want, my mind grows no more
Millions of thoughts around, not enough hands to grasp them

Jolted by fresh ideas, startling ones!
but can never finish the thought, let alone see the end coming.
Like daily dreams, one will say "i cannot remember" but although in your forgetful state
you're able to garner pieces, tiny pieces of what you envisaged

squeezing eyes, hesitant hands...wanting to write, but unable to flow
what manner of force hinders invisible life...wanting to manifest itself as words and verses and paragraphs

you see...i wanted to write, but nothing came to mind
i wanted it to speak to you, but nothing flowed
instead you hear the ramblings of a man with a mental block...trying to wring his way around it
to bring life changing words to you

This is the price i pay...this is the price i pay for YOU!
Put yourself in my shoes! yes! let's trade...
Me for you and you for me...

Now, go ahead...utter the words i would!
think the thoughts i can!!
Strange...isn't it,
how the tables have turned
Now i'm here, staring at you, just like how you would stare
Now i'm here, waiting on what you have to say..."Don't waste my time!"

Snap out of it!...You're back to yourself
Let me worry about saving the world
while charlatans like you sit and snicker at my gift

Try to do something else with your time
instead of stifling that which you don't understand
Doing "Nothing" about it!!

My thoughts flow again...
I've vanquished "NOTHING!"
Next time i feel this way...i'll think about you!!
Better yet...i'll write about you...
"Nothings like you!"

Melody (DC to HK)

You may wonder, “Why the stare? Why the silence of the coming end of the night?”

You may ponder, “Why not sooner? Where does the love come, and with all this might?”

To ease your mind, my answers are in the smiles you create

The blushing I hide, and the laughs we share

With many words unsaid, I sing choruses of love that can be heard only by you

Like sign language, many a whisper cannot be sensed by another being

Only if they were connected to my heart would the message of Eros be decoded

You hold the melody to my heart!

Gently and tenderly, read my song to your spirit…

Not to evilly bind you

But to peacefully release you to the depth of my love

Turmoil

I can

Oh yes I can!!

I’ve been here, waiting, thinking, deciding

How to whisk you away with my pen

I can

Oh yes I can!!

Turning thoughts to skin

Making far my clouded thoughts

Pushing hard my hearts’ intent

I can

Oh yes I can!!

Bleed you for my peace sake

Murder you soul for my heart aches

Unlock the doors to horror

The ones to which I’ve hid the keys

But I can!!

Oh yes I can…

Be what you expect me to be

See what you expect me to see

Kill what you want me to kill

But I can!!

I can now, run the course which you’ve seen others fail

But I can choose not to rear my ugly head

But which instead, I lift my pen & turn my words to skin

I CAN, NO I COULD’VE

I COULD’VE unleashed a curse within

But I ran my mind from the sin, of falling into yours

Your unfinished business

Your plunder, the one you wish to share

But!! I have released you from my deaths’ grips

I COULD’VE killed you, but instead I’ve set you free

But your freedom will be your cell

Because you CANNOT escape your MIND’S HELL!!

Why do I love?

Why do I want to love you?

Why do I always crave to utter my passion?

Does my well ever dwindle?

Does my heart ever rest?

Would this love die?

Would my affection disgust?

The questions of my mind, overwhelm my heart. For it was only thought to love

Not thought to measure the physical or speech patterns.

Not thought to scrutinize family trees and withered leaves

Not to size up the perfect match for lovers looks

But to look beyond, far beyond skin deep...looking past flesh and bone, blood and tissue

Just gazing at the soul, the embodiment of beginnings, the life of love.

"As my soul lives", many say tying their birthright to the weak arm of flesh

So I confess, as my God lives in you, and abides in you, only then will my love endure...

For my commitment runs deeper than rivers, deeper than seas...it grinds and rocks the very core of all foundations.

These words will only have true meaning in days shared together by covenant. When we both would have given up the right to be 2 in love but to be 1 in bond

My words this day are true to you, take my hand, and rest assure they will be more meaningful to you.

As we share true love, his love, being "our love"

Untitled (AJ)

Wonders…

The simplest of things account for the most marvelous, intriguing happenings man can never conceive

Dealt a hand of 7, the game of love is about to be played…

2 hearts on the table as stakes

An Ace & a Jack ready for the pack of life

Shuffled by and by with whims and fancies of unexpected reactions deemed plays and restless eyes and thoughts of opponents watching on.

“AJ” once, “AJ” twice

the hearts of each of these cards show and show again with each turn of a game

6-4-&5 all shared with intuitive hands

5-4&6 reoccur in the other, as though planned.

This game of love will continue on for as long as the life pack can go

Now! We’re tied…

Game is equal…

No tricks, all risk, and of course a whole lot of strings attached

Gleaming eyes, sweaty palms

Damps lips, quickened senses

The heightened anticipation of another kiss for each game won

But the completion of this, a longer one is promised…

As each card is drawn blindly, we’ve likened our lives

As each card is played out of our hands, we’ve likened our actions and equal reactions

As each combination is gathered, again, we likened that onto our successes and failures

So…where does that leave us?

Bowed now to a simple game of “Black Jack”

Either you accept or reject

The perfect hand is equal to an “A” and a “J”

Any things over or after is separation or life non existent.

Thinking

I thought it were hard

not this easy to forget the times passed, shared away, and that which was promised

I thought it were suicide

Not this grateful to bare the scar of previous relation and loyalty

Coupled with the burns around my neck from constant tugging on my leash

I thought it were insane

For sure not tasteful, to stray from longing eyes and made up minds as to what your life’s share should be

I crave it were hard

For all guns we drawn for the battle of roses

I crave it were suicide

For my heart would’ve been filled with the venom of cause and satisfaction

Dripping a river of prolonged screams and blood ridden love

I crave it were insane

For now my mind asks the question of eternal torment

Where would I have been, had it not been for…

Had it not been for the doubt?, had it not been for the pain?

Had it not been for recklessness?

A new world is before me

The second life…

The second life of blindness…

In between minds of what was once my past?

Will it happen? Should it happen?

Fly not to skies where you are not prepared to breath in

Where your wings can tear with every flap, pull and flap

Teary eyes, cloud the mind towards it destination.

Haste we haste the coming destruction In avoidance of it,

so we only bring that which has to come to past

I rest my heart within the one that has no sorrow

And will only multiply my joy

I pray my heart sounds the right chord

Of which I will speedily connect

Only to create fulfillment and purpose.

In the unity of our music

Sudden Goodbye

“And so it happened…

My plummet from Olympus heights”

Only to be reminded that the moon and the moon alone stood solitude

To watch me as I fell

From lunar friend to lunar foe

With its rays, it snatched my love away

“Monumental memory”

The full moon held the scale

In weeks gone, it handed the keys of bliss and ushered me

With the brightest of smiles to paradise

Now! With the other “mood”, like a crude landlord, it evicted me without notice

For the first time, the moon didn’t shine for me!

At its tallest, as the hour hand froze at 12

It stood there, crushing my head with its distant peer

Clad in black for the occasion, for I sensed its’ coming

My “un cried” tears rendered my heart, “unresponsive”, cold to its once warm embrace

I am alone now, fallen to the earth, no longer sharing the air & space we know as home.

I MISS YOU SO!! COME BACK TO ME! HEAR MY CRY!

COME BACK WITH YOUR OPEN ARMS & SWEEP ME AWAY.

LET’S RIDE AGAIN ON YOUR CLOUDY CHARIOT

Frilled with stars & suns

I MISS YOU SO!!

For it was a night like this you met me and saw me for the first true.

“Make it again, rewind it! Replay”

For I wish it were the past again, so I can have you again

Again! My lunar friend!!

Hang UP!

I KNEW IT WERE COMING!

I THOUGHT IT NOT TRUE!

THAT THE NIGHT WOULD COME

When I’d no longer have you

WE SAT, WE TALKED, WE HAD some laughs

But deep down inside, we knew that hour came fast

We had to say goodbye, not for a lifetime

We had to say goodbye, just for a short time

But time! It heals, but it takes away too

I had to say goodbye? I can’t believe it’s time

I had to say goodbye? Goodbye, to you?

Life Tomorrow

Tackled life with my bare hands, now blistered with successes and grief

Lying stiff as the dead, staring through greenheart

Racing thoughts boil my blood now oozing from the hole in my heart

I place my hand to stop the leak, only to inflict further pain to myself

A crack, that that turned to a leak, and has now morphed to a hole

Years of tapping pain, has reached like a flood seeking a container, but there is none

“Bondage bandage” no help for me, as my life seeps

Reaching my bloody hand to ones I love, but to no avail, my hand trespasses their path

Even weaker, my now cold body, almost “life less” wriggles slowly and steadily to the end of the bed

Attentive ears scan the air just for a voice, a sound of hope even

Dimming eyes seek the color of light, yet…my mind has sufficed the thought of a lonely tunnel

Cold, dark, windy, and futile

My end is nearing, as the last pint of blood oozes further

I slightly raise my head to behold a “stopper”

“It’s big enough to stop the leak! Wide enough to heal it quick”

I felt all hope was lost, as I made comfortable my dying body for its eternal position

I found faith again…reminded that I had something to life for…

To live for…another day, unlike today

I Waited!

Ticking anger tapped and tapped to be released

Patience to impatience, it burned and broke your thoughts

Wreaking havoc silently in the midst of a crowd

Clutching at everything around you, but your snake oiled hands bears no grip

Wallowing in misery, painting a mask of many smiles

None can tell your sorrow

“How much can I pray!? How much can I write!? How much can I speak!?”

Though nothing changes, you still live on

Being washed by tsunami of pain, disappointments and disgust

“When will this season end?”

Almighty healer, is a simple “How are you today!?”

“You know I thought about you, and decided to call”

“Decided to spend some time chatting, what’s up?”

Almighty healer! is a simple;

Utterance of “I love you”, a peek into your past that would explain my present

A special reasoning that would make us bond!!

Almighty healer, many a time, yes a prayer away

But just the same, Almighty healer is “your word away”

“I almost died waiting for you!

Grew cold to the world, wanting you!

You watched me turn to ice, in your daily turns to help others”

I cried for you!

Acted out for you! even when you saw me

You read it as rebellion

Now what am I to do?

Grow colder? Grow even angrier than I already am?

Why? Because it’s you?

I’ve died now! Never to be the same again

But has promised to love and love hard

For you have shown me love, you’ve shown me your love for another

I have died to you, yet you think am I the same

You’ve never taken the time to know me!!

Now…you never will!!

Sealed

My mind is tied

Tied is my mind

Strung my thoughts, like a lace through a shell

My hands are locked

Locked are my hands

Fingers cannot bare the height of written fear

My lips are sealed

Sealed are my lips

For my heart bubbles the potion of togetherness

Tipped to poor, fueled to fill

Still failure to utter

My eyes are filled

Filled are my eyes

With tears of pain for a better tomorrow

Shed for constant love in unity

Distant is my spirit

My spirit is distant

Equal pride, equal ego

Negative Result

Divided my heart

My heart divided

Who will speak to heal?

Sealed are my lips

My lips are sealed

Years Gone

I know this place!

Did you ever get that feeling?

As though you have been here before?

As though you have smelt this very air?

Yes!! That’s what I feel

Even as a child, as you were a child

I’ve had dreams, like you’ve had dreams

Playfully building houses, playfully getting married

Playfully police and thief, playfully hairdressers and skippers

But as much as you played

You knew that life wouldn’t be that easy

You’d see the sweat of whoever’s left as your guardian

Our young eyes would behold frustration at its best

Daily fights in the neighbors’ yard

Some even in your own

Shared with “you hear wha happen to duh one?”

Yess!! Like mine, your hears were cocked too

But never mind that

The point is this!! matty deh live wit matty in togetherness

No strife making, no back stabbing

But good ol’ community loving

So ol’ ya be now!

Some ah you mek pickney

The world is different to you in age

Racism has torn the pages of the past

Ask yourself this…

Ah who mek so? Ah who mek so?

Ah who colour de pickney eye?

From generation to generation the baton pass on

We thought it was a baton, instead it was a pack of crayons

Consisting of colours, shred in two

One stick for me, one stick for you

(Sniffing) I don’t know this place?

Did you ever get that feeling?

Where you know, that you know it’s wrong?

Yes!! That’s what I feel

Years Gone

I know this place!

Did you ever get that feeling?

As though you have been here before?

As though you have smelt this very air?

Yes!! That’s what I feel

Even as a child, as you were a child

I’ve had dreams, like you’ve had dreams

Playfully building houses, playfully getting married

Playfully police and thief, playfully hairdressers and skippers

But as much as you played

You knew that life wouldn’t be that easy

You’d see the sweat of whoever’s left as your guardian

Our young eyes would behold frustration at its best

Daily fights in the neighbors’ yard

Some even in your own

Shared with “you hear wha happen to duh one?”

Yess!! Like mine, your ears were cocked too

But never mind that

The point is this!! matty deh live wit matty in togetherness

No strife making, no back stabbing

But good ol’ community loving

So ol’ ya be now!

Some ah you mek pickney

The world is different to you in age

Racism has torn the pages of the past

Ask yourself this…

Ah who mek so? Ah who mek so?

Ah who colour de pickney eye?

From generation to generation the baton pass on

We thought it was a baton, instead it was a pack of crayons

Consisting of colours, shred in two

One stick for me, one stick for you

(Sniffing) I don’t know this place?

Did you ever get that feeling?

Where you know, that you know it’s wrong?

Yes!! That’s what I feel

New day

At the rise of this dawn

I sing a new song,

Old things have passed away, BEHOLD!

All things have come new…

Not forgetting the past, that will never be lost

The pain, and the shame, of the colour hiding my veins

No I cannot forget!!

Yes we’ve come by sea

Stripped from we mudda and matti!!

Africa bawl!!...Mudda Africa ah bawl!!

Tossed and beaten to sailing ships

Packed and packed

Rolled and stacked!

Hmm, how ironic…

For together we were enslaved

Together! We were beaten and shamed

Together! We were sold for trade

Together! We were blinded and maimed

Some fell weary of the testing times!

Some just died, while others waited in line

“When freedom? When?”

Hear our crying souls, see our silent tears

So as the blood!

So as the killing!

So as the blood!

So as the picking!

So as the blood!!

So as the raping!

So as the blood!!!

So as the whipping!!

So as the blood!!!, so as the blood!!!

So as the blood splashed from the pitchforks’ end

So as the knife, sliding through white skin

We!!...we fought!

We fought to the end!!

Until, our days were over!

And Signed by a pen!!

Yes we cannot forget the yesterdays that have made us to today

But today!!

Today! We!!

Yes! WE!!...

Like the stacks we’ve made on sailing ships…together!!

Because, together!

We’ve made it through!

Together! We share the moment

Together! We must stay, to make the brighter tomorrow

This is our time!

This is our time!!

This is our time!!!

Let us make hay…while the sun shines!!

Free at last! Free at last!

Praise God almighty!

We are free at last!!

Birth Of Mind.2

Alone!
Weary and tired, yet fresh to the cold of dawn
Christened with the weight of breath
Only to gaze nomadically down the barrel of darkened turns and dim lit street waves
Created in ways, formed and fashioned in pain
My mind is set on track, one way to end in inevitable death
“From mud to mud”
They say life’s destiny is determined by its journey
Why did they say such!?
As life began, confused and distant holding memory to silly things
The pace was set in motion

Birth of Mind

Hush!!... Hush!!...

That wail!!...that scream!!

Likened to the deafening sound of silence!!

Hush!!... shh!!

I can’t take it no more

For that is the cry of greatness born in deception

But why?

Though so young, burdened, tested, tempted

Reared to lead, expected to fail

Loved by many, hated by more!!

Why a calling so great for an unprepared soul?

How must we live?

How do we unlock the power within?

Live we must, learn we must