Another name for patience, beauty and class...
I miss her so as my days grow, i often think of what she would tell me now, as i operate through my days...
From birth, the first grandson, to much i was spoiled... the proud, flouncing & bouncing Eileen Forde, down the road with her spanking new grand boy child
She rode with me for hours i was told, stopping from house to house so they can behold!
Eileen, is Gran-ma, affectionately known...the woman that was there for me, where ever i go...
In boyhood days, she made sure i was ready for life, always making sure i have everything, giving me of her last, of her time, of her energies..."That's my bones!" she used to say. Encouraging me to make her proud, in everything that i did and say...
She took me to church, she dressed me for school, she fed me and fed me, trying to put meat on my flesh!..."Come drink this porridge boy, all de try i trying wid yuh! you still ain't puttin on a pound!"
Oh...how i missed those days, i'd come home from school, only to run straight to the kitchen, where i would have left Gran-ma from since early in the morning...it was scented with the aura of "goodies" plantain chips, mettai, buns...the whole works!...
"come boy, come help me wash up de wares!..." those words, i'd always remember, cause you had to know how to wash if you liked to eat!!
Eileen...a humble woman, simple in nature, very quiet in character...but don't get she vex...she would have your head...
Married to one man, treated him like a king, even when he didn't deserve rats' shit and all...patient woman, loving woman...the kind of woman that any man would want...ohh how i loved her so...
As my days went on, i started working...she sat me down and said..."boy your working now, you getting money, i want you to save...even if you got to give me to keep it for you...save ya money!" With her pointer finger in the air...and eyes over her spectacles..."and don't forget to give you mother and your father money...you would see your way in life!"
Words of wisdom, they would always flow from her undying fountain...
All mornings, i would awake to the sound of her righteous singing...such a lovely voice, although old an cracking, she would still give praise to almighty God, as she wobbled and clapped to her tunes...deep in her bible her nose would be, for an hour at least...then into her place of work..."the kitchen"
But Gran-ma knew to herself she was getting old, days would meet her in her bed very cold! age stepped in and sickness too...but what was Ol' Eileen to do!? Just the same! what she would do every morning...wake to sing her praise, bathe, dress and off to the kitchen...it was the thing that kept her alive!...
"Come boy, i getting ol' come cut up these things for meh!" she would always call me to the kitchen, to teach me to cook...especially when curry and roti was invovled..."if it was that fat one, he woulda got me talking and sendin up my pressure...nothing like you bones...nothing like you!...remarking to my lil brother, and grinning at her call name for me!
My watcher, my sister, my friend...i could tell Gran-ma anything...she would always understand me!...even when my own parents couldn't...Gran-ma was there for me!...In my time of need, in my time of gladness, in the times i was down, in the times i hadn't anybody to turn to...Eileen Forde was the constant in my life...she gave me balance...she gave me strength...she gave me advise, and she gave me praise where praise was due.
To watch my granny sick, was to take away my lungs and tell me to breathe...i couldn't stand to she her earthly body wither away...
I dealt with it all the wrong way, i wouldn't go to see her, although she was home...i would stay out of the house for late hours, when i know she would be asleep...or so i thought...i'd wake early in the morning and fly out of the house...
"Ya-pet!" she used to call my name; "what happen? i don't see you anymore!...we don't talk like we used to? what is going on?"...i looked her straight in the eye, to see the questions on her face, and the hurt in her heart...for she has missed her grandson so much...i had made it no easier on her, by running away and grieving about her sickness...she needed me, and i was no where to be found!
Days before i leave the land of many waters, to try the islands for work...i talked to her, telling her about the job offer, telling her what it would be like, telling her about the many things that i can do with the money...and how i would make her proud!
She counciled me, giving me mind etching advise, giving me the keys to open any door in this life..."Remember God" she said, "You see how he has raised you up!...and how you have grown!...i'm proud of you boy...you mek me heart glad, i don't know how long i would be around, but i want to see you walk down de aisle...and i want to see my first great grand...in wedlock!..."
We laughed at the whole thing that night, as we caught up on conversations that had been long missed...i gave her the regular kiss on the cheek, said my "I Love You's" and went to bed...
3 days after, my Gran-ma left...absent from the body...present with the LORD...
Life hasn't quite been the same...
I miss her so much...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
"Wey daddy deh!?"
De jail dem full! senseless, mindless, influenced, men! dem a gwan a road, dem a run fu theif! dem geh catch...and deh ass lock up with no key!
Presuah bawl, from cracked walls, broken floor boards, and web hangin windows...
"Wey daddy deh?"
Thoughts from a small youth, 5yrs old, attached to the hip of his mother, other... a 2yr old brother, "on the way...if you may, the "unborn" with decisions on whether it should "come" or "stay"
De youth a try fu hustle...geh a dolla or 3, because mammy nah know wha else fuh do... council a come fuh break down de "koo-koo"
Youth used to see daddy tek thig dat wasn't he own, and go unda clock fu sell...stand up lil bit and come back with brand new money smell... But a day he go, and never return..."is wha happen deh" youth thought to himself..."is wey daddy gone"
Like 3 doors away, across de road, de same question ah ask, when a gyal pikaney notice she period pass...how much man don eat from de grass..lawd..another life gon to loss
"is wey daddy deh?"
Homes bruck up, society at fault, thing ain't goin nice! cause everything a gon worse since gas price a shoot up like fyah rass...
But even before de tumoil and stress, "daddies" today..weren't doin their best...hear nah...
Man a walk a road, see i thing he could afford...tek a nik, real quik...next thing you know, de man get sick!
If you think i don, de man had a son!...born from a woman that would mek bad name run!...he seh "he sick", she seh "from what", he seh "man, i think i must me hard hit de rum spot"
"Come lye down and tek you rest, i gon tek care ah yuh...don't stress"...
Lie he tell, fu cover de worse, few mournings after...he dead ass in a hearse!
Mammy alone fu carry de strain, but not only that...but all de bad name...
lil son a grow, with water in he eye, as mommy strive to geh thing to buy...
Many a household can relate to dis, some not exact, but you get the drift...
Daddy walk in, daddy walk out...thing a gwan in dis country, dem nah ting fuh shout about...
Country gon mad! de devil real glad...cause fathers not there for what's there to be had...
Mommy a call all de shots, cause family bruck up, daddy nah deh pun spot...children a grow one sided like...acting out in pain and agony alike...
If fathers were around, they'd bring satbility to families now that live in poverty...for the ones that are there...keep the good faith, cause many are lost, and now it's too late...
As for the shaking one's, Don't play with me!...cause i would have to shoot you or ya son for tryin to theif meh money!...
"Wey daddy deh?" is a societal disease!...Men put a stop to this ignorance PLEASE!!!
Presuah bawl, from cracked walls, broken floor boards, and web hangin windows...
"Wey daddy deh?"
Thoughts from a small youth, 5yrs old, attached to the hip of his mother, other... a 2yr old brother, "on the way...if you may, the "unborn" with decisions on whether it should "come" or "stay"
De youth a try fu hustle...geh a dolla or 3, because mammy nah know wha else fuh do... council a come fuh break down de "koo-koo"
Youth used to see daddy tek thig dat wasn't he own, and go unda clock fu sell...stand up lil bit and come back with brand new money smell... But a day he go, and never return..."is wha happen deh" youth thought to himself..."is wey daddy gone"
Like 3 doors away, across de road, de same question ah ask, when a gyal pikaney notice she period pass...how much man don eat from de grass..lawd..another life gon to loss
"is wey daddy deh?"
Homes bruck up, society at fault, thing ain't goin nice! cause everything a gon worse since gas price a shoot up like fyah rass...
But even before de tumoil and stress, "daddies" today..weren't doin their best...hear nah...
Man a walk a road, see i thing he could afford...tek a nik, real quik...next thing you know, de man get sick!
If you think i don, de man had a son!...born from a woman that would mek bad name run!...he seh "he sick", she seh "from what", he seh "man, i think i must me hard hit de rum spot"
"Come lye down and tek you rest, i gon tek care ah yuh...don't stress"...
Lie he tell, fu cover de worse, few mournings after...he dead ass in a hearse!
Mammy alone fu carry de strain, but not only that...but all de bad name...
lil son a grow, with water in he eye, as mommy strive to geh thing to buy...
Many a household can relate to dis, some not exact, but you get the drift...
Daddy walk in, daddy walk out...thing a gwan in dis country, dem nah ting fuh shout about...
Country gon mad! de devil real glad...cause fathers not there for what's there to be had...
Mommy a call all de shots, cause family bruck up, daddy nah deh pun spot...children a grow one sided like...acting out in pain and agony alike...
If fathers were around, they'd bring satbility to families now that live in poverty...for the ones that are there...keep the good faith, cause many are lost, and now it's too late...
As for the shaking one's, Don't play with me!...cause i would have to shoot you or ya son for tryin to theif meh money!...
"Wey daddy deh?" is a societal disease!...Men put a stop to this ignorance PLEASE!!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Black Rose
She smiles, i smile
She walks, no she glides softly by me, changing night into day
She opens her mouth to speak, and so sounds ring in my head she speaks...
And i want to dance to her rhythm, she moves ever so gently, increasing my desires
Desires to place my arms around her waist, and hold and squeeze into me...
I want to melt into her body, and discover the base of her warmth
Her beautiful, black body, that no human mind can ever condescend
She's love, she's truth, she's real
AS real as the stars that shine in the heavens,
as real as the sun that bathes her body
as real as the moon that glows, and the birds that sing, and the rose that blossoms in spring
for she is that rose, and not just any rose...but a Black Rose...
A Black rose, that stands taller and stronger than any other plant
A black rose, that stands as creator of nations
A black rose, that never loses her petals and blossoms all year round
Black Rose!, sweet rose!, thornless Rose!, eternal Rose
Please look my way, please look my way, please look my way
Black Rose.
Signed: copy cat, wishing it were my creation
She walks, no she glides softly by me, changing night into day
She opens her mouth to speak, and so sounds ring in my head she speaks...
And i want to dance to her rhythm, she moves ever so gently, increasing my desires
Desires to place my arms around her waist, and hold and squeeze into me...
I want to melt into her body, and discover the base of her warmth
Her beautiful, black body, that no human mind can ever condescend
She's love, she's truth, she's real
AS real as the stars that shine in the heavens,
as real as the sun that bathes her body
as real as the moon that glows, and the birds that sing, and the rose that blossoms in spring
for she is that rose, and not just any rose...but a Black Rose...
A Black rose, that stands taller and stronger than any other plant
A black rose, that stands as creator of nations
A black rose, that never loses her petals and blossoms all year round
Black Rose!, sweet rose!, thornless Rose!, eternal Rose
Please look my way, please look my way, please look my way
Black Rose.
Signed: copy cat, wishing it were my creation
Too soon/just in time!?
Knitted brows, with questions of "what am i thinking?"
Even with no strings attached, my heart always finds path to another, with no ticket, departure tax, or luggage...
Conversations turn eulogies, to longing attitudes of connection, found features, unseen thoughts...like shadows in the black moonlight
My lips were formed to say the words...but knitted brows formed, questions gather, uncertainty settles...
The 3 words "..." (i told you to remember the dots)
Distant feelings, another chapter, a fresh page...my pen, my thoughts, stroke ever so gently on grains of compacted indulgence, favored sayings and "honey kisses"
The 3 words "..." formed in my mouth, to whisper in meaningful air, as the scent of myrrh...drawn by nostrils of desiring hubs...
Essence of catacombs of deep, rich, eternal ecstasy...fall not!...wither not...sweet rose, black rose...
Standing stronger and taller than all other roses!...eyes of acceptance have fallen upon you!...mind of concrete, has cracked in consideration...what is this storm of feelings that spreads a whirlwind of ever blowing..."assured happiness"
"Too soon/ just in time?"
Hence i know not the season, therefore i hover on waters of caution...
signed: sailor in paradise
Even with no strings attached, my heart always finds path to another, with no ticket, departure tax, or luggage...
Conversations turn eulogies, to longing attitudes of connection, found features, unseen thoughts...like shadows in the black moonlight
My lips were formed to say the words...but knitted brows formed, questions gather, uncertainty settles...
The 3 words "..." (i told you to remember the dots)
Distant feelings, another chapter, a fresh page...my pen, my thoughts, stroke ever so gently on grains of compacted indulgence, favored sayings and "honey kisses"
The 3 words "..." formed in my mouth, to whisper in meaningful air, as the scent of myrrh...drawn by nostrils of desiring hubs...
Essence of catacombs of deep, rich, eternal ecstasy...fall not!...wither not...sweet rose, black rose...
Standing stronger and taller than all other roses!...eyes of acceptance have fallen upon you!...mind of concrete, has cracked in consideration...what is this storm of feelings that spreads a whirlwind of ever blowing..."assured happiness"
"Too soon/ just in time?"
Hence i know not the season, therefore i hover on waters of caution...
signed: sailor in paradise
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Pink pair
Standing before you, tall, dark, anxious...hanging hands, damp...with the sweat of infatuation. Set eyes... on the prize of patience, sweetened lips quivering with enthusiasm!
"Close your eyes" i ask, as i step closer to you...
"Hanging" now wrapped around a waist and a neck, once damp hands, rub against the silky skin, betwixt the long flowing hair that dances with it...eyes closer, focused, as though tagged to the tunnel of wild imaginations, feelings and progressive wants...
Heavy breathing, hearts racing, dimmed eyes, and locked minds...on what's to come
Forces of desperation, as one meets the other half way..."we meet; paired... pink paired!"
Realization of the present, send chills up my spine, sends touches to my mind, sends...blood to the once "soft" places...
Linking tongues, smacking lips, immense head & hands and body movements, as we slide to no tomorrow..."we pair...we pink paired"
Much like two peas in a pod, like ding and dong, like good & bad, like happy & sad, like "i must be going mad, in this softness...this tender kiss...this bliss, that i missed, that can have an eternal name on my list..."as we paired, we pink paired!"
Now i'm getting warmer, drawing closer to the rooms corner...dark...moon bright...shuffling feet, each to fight to wonder in this humid night...that is about to get HOT!
Cornered! she ceased, as i was about to unleash the beast, slowly getting familiar with my nights feast...
Boiled to my hottest...this black Goddess grabs me!
Reactions of fear, but she now doesn't care of the slashes and tears of my long swipes & stares!
Now from the corner, we move to the bed, aggressively moving while holding her head...clothes off, legs apart..."what you think happened"...we went right back to the start!!
Kissing and "kissing" and "kissing!" again...kissing and pairing...like there's no end...
Moans and groans & stretching on sheets..."what is in the world is causing this heat"
From fast, to slow, "to hell & go"...after hours, this race horse ran slow! Excitement once enjoyed as passions grew faster, now lulled by the "sphere" of satisfaction & laughter.
We both grew chilled, as wet bodies cooled, lying we realized "clitorah's pool"...in tight embrace we kissed again...lovingly, childishly, like friends of "10"
The only thing that could've brought us here, was us wishing and wanting "the first pink pair"
"Close your eyes" i ask, as i step closer to you...
"Hanging" now wrapped around a waist and a neck, once damp hands, rub against the silky skin, betwixt the long flowing hair that dances with it...eyes closer, focused, as though tagged to the tunnel of wild imaginations, feelings and progressive wants...
Heavy breathing, hearts racing, dimmed eyes, and locked minds...on what's to come
Forces of desperation, as one meets the other half way..."we meet; paired... pink paired!"
Realization of the present, send chills up my spine, sends touches to my mind, sends...blood to the once "soft" places...
Linking tongues, smacking lips, immense head & hands and body movements, as we slide to no tomorrow..."we pair...we pink paired"
Much like two peas in a pod, like ding and dong, like good & bad, like happy & sad, like "i must be going mad, in this softness...this tender kiss...this bliss, that i missed, that can have an eternal name on my list..."as we paired, we pink paired!"
Now i'm getting warmer, drawing closer to the rooms corner...dark...moon bright...shuffling feet, each to fight to wonder in this humid night...that is about to get HOT!
Cornered! she ceased, as i was about to unleash the beast, slowly getting familiar with my nights feast...
Boiled to my hottest...this black Goddess grabs me!
Reactions of fear, but she now doesn't care of the slashes and tears of my long swipes & stares!
Now from the corner, we move to the bed, aggressively moving while holding her head...clothes off, legs apart..."what you think happened"...we went right back to the start!!
Kissing and "kissing" and "kissing!" again...kissing and pairing...like there's no end...
Moans and groans & stretching on sheets..."what is in the world is causing this heat"
From fast, to slow, "to hell & go"...after hours, this race horse ran slow! Excitement once enjoyed as passions grew faster, now lulled by the "sphere" of satisfaction & laughter.
We both grew chilled, as wet bodies cooled, lying we realized "clitorah's pool"...in tight embrace we kissed again...lovingly, childishly, like friends of "10"
The only thing that could've brought us here, was us wishing and wanting "the first pink pair"
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Nerve strings
Combined crazy, consuming & overwhelming unmastered thoughts of wild, reckless, & unseeming feelings. Caused by the "unassuming" rays of sunlight in the darkness of passions' night.
Care, fear & love clash...all in a bundle of nervousness, and freaked thoughts of reluctance!
Wild eyes, cold feet & ears...frozen stiff in the stare of "nothingness" wind of question hitting the core of uncertainty...even with the wing of whisper, bending thoughts of movement stir, once & far; in mind a blur...
'Wind of question' turns again, this time blowing gently to the root of consciousness, asking only for response in favor...
Why so hard!? why so mystic!? why so distant!? all but a mere inch away from freedom...
Deeper & deeper i feel your fall, your fall into a world even more unknown...no help!...no net can grasp!
"I feel like i've placed you in a vacuum... as though i've made you into a toy!?"
Scared feelings, static waves, censored pauses...all more blunders of what!?...
Fogged room, loud music, staggering people..."distractions" wind of question blows yet again...reminding of its' eternal journey to find "you"
Mind cells grinds, as night grows older...fidget...fragit...false...wonder...turnings...opportunity lost! once again...wind of question blows...
"Draw close!" passion psyched, tight knit hands hold ghost of soul and reality, unfrozen thoughts, yet reserved movements, kill spirit of thinking?
Free yourself of thoughts unknown...yet stay prisoner of things to be!? rather...clench yourself to wanting wants...that may never exists!...
How mad is the world of love, my passion, my fling, my toy!? No!...my need, my inspiration, my constant!!!
Stares of nothingness, give birth to more questions of things to come! if they will come, if they will turn out to be what they can!...
Should i join the race, or rather end it with the frozen soul i hold in my hand!? or should i allow even more winds to thaw the chilly spine of unsurity...
I'll opt for the latter...
Kiss of bliss, fail thee not, for yet cometh a time for celebration, brought by your undying patience...
signed: unrealistic puppeteer
Care, fear & love clash...all in a bundle of nervousness, and freaked thoughts of reluctance!
Wild eyes, cold feet & ears...frozen stiff in the stare of "nothingness" wind of question hitting the core of uncertainty...even with the wing of whisper, bending thoughts of movement stir, once & far; in mind a blur...
'Wind of question' turns again, this time blowing gently to the root of consciousness, asking only for response in favor...
Why so hard!? why so mystic!? why so distant!? all but a mere inch away from freedom...
Deeper & deeper i feel your fall, your fall into a world even more unknown...no help!...no net can grasp!
"I feel like i've placed you in a vacuum... as though i've made you into a toy!?"
Scared feelings, static waves, censored pauses...all more blunders of what!?...
Fogged room, loud music, staggering people..."distractions" wind of question blows yet again...reminding of its' eternal journey to find "you"
Mind cells grinds, as night grows older...fidget...fragit...false...wonder...turnings...opportunity lost! once again...wind of question blows...
"Draw close!" passion psyched, tight knit hands hold ghost of soul and reality, unfrozen thoughts, yet reserved movements, kill spirit of thinking?
Free yourself of thoughts unknown...yet stay prisoner of things to be!? rather...clench yourself to wanting wants...that may never exists!...
How mad is the world of love, my passion, my fling, my toy!? No!...my need, my inspiration, my constant!!!
Stares of nothingness, give birth to more questions of things to come! if they will come, if they will turn out to be what they can!...
Should i join the race, or rather end it with the frozen soul i hold in my hand!? or should i allow even more winds to thaw the chilly spine of unsurity...
I'll opt for the latter...
Kiss of bliss, fail thee not, for yet cometh a time for celebration, brought by your undying patience...
signed: unrealistic puppeteer
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Women Thoughts
Like a blank page...a woman is the constant reflection of what you (the male) are, many a time, that reflection reveals a hideous side of you, that you thought never existed...until a woman came into your life!
Because of their variety, which often lends as the "prob-u-la" (problem source) it is harder for men to understand what they think, and even easier for them to lie about what they're thinking as well...the true "deceptors" of the land!
Ever since the Genesis, women have had men wrapped around their fingers, as they say..."not intentionally" but they were designed to weaken any flesh, at least after the second birthing of mankind...
"Ever thought of what Eve looked like"...the first woman! God himself crafted her!... with his bare hands!...PERFECT!!!...WOW! that must have been a bombshell...but that just goes to show...once thwarted! can cause havoc...even in the simplest, purest way...
So...you ask me, "What are my thoughts on women"...here it goes...
although loving, caring, motherly...supporter, help meet...and all the fancy, and flowery things about them...they are mind controllers!...some don't even know their own strength!...some have a very good handle on it, and use it well, to the best of their abilities!...
They are "grudge holders" an elephant never forgets! the old saying goes...they should change that...a woman always remembers...no matter how many times you've said your sorry...they have a special part in their mind, just to harbor past hurts!..and they ALWAYS! expect it to happen again!
They are "attention demanders"...even when your not obligated to give them it, they demand it with they hair, face, hips, tits, and sweet lips!...they are never to be ignored...the worst kinds are the deprived...they subtly whine their way into your skin...like music! it hits you and you feel no pain!
They are "master minds"...never, ever, ever, underestimate a woman...she gets what she wants, even if she has to screw it out of you!...geniuses of plots and schemes either to build or to demolish...a woman is always in control...
They are "body linguists" fluent in "bending and twisting" they bodies, saying everything they need to say and the getting the required results..."emotionless eyes, floating lips, useless sighs, and the all time great...the relentless stare..." MASTERS I TELL YOU!...MASTERS...not a word uttered, but once given to any man...get's the message loud and clear...and they in turn quite calmly, laugh at the lured prey!...
WOMEN ARE WOMEN!!... often glorifed! seldom degraded...the causers of "the game" i believe...exteremely cunning beings...a specie not to be messed with!!
From the other half of the playing feild...are the masters of disguise "MEN" from player to PIMP to MAC..men have some game i must admit...but women...that's a whole other story by itself.
I do love women no doubt, but man oh man...the drama you have if you don't "RTFM" for them...
signed: careful male in the female playfield
Because of their variety, which often lends as the "prob-u-la" (problem source) it is harder for men to understand what they think, and even easier for them to lie about what they're thinking as well...the true "deceptors" of the land!
Ever since the Genesis, women have had men wrapped around their fingers, as they say..."not intentionally" but they were designed to weaken any flesh, at least after the second birthing of mankind...
"Ever thought of what Eve looked like"...the first woman! God himself crafted her!... with his bare hands!...PERFECT!!!...WOW! that must have been a bombshell...but that just goes to show...once thwarted! can cause havoc...even in the simplest, purest way...
So...you ask me, "What are my thoughts on women"...here it goes...
although loving, caring, motherly...supporter, help meet...and all the fancy, and flowery things about them...they are mind controllers!...some don't even know their own strength!...some have a very good handle on it, and use it well, to the best of their abilities!...
They are "grudge holders" an elephant never forgets! the old saying goes...they should change that...a woman always remembers...no matter how many times you've said your sorry...they have a special part in their mind, just to harbor past hurts!..and they ALWAYS! expect it to happen again!
They are "attention demanders"...even when your not obligated to give them it, they demand it with they hair, face, hips, tits, and sweet lips!...they are never to be ignored...the worst kinds are the deprived...they subtly whine their way into your skin...like music! it hits you and you feel no pain!
They are "master minds"...never, ever, ever, underestimate a woman...she gets what she wants, even if she has to screw it out of you!...geniuses of plots and schemes either to build or to demolish...a woman is always in control...
They are "body linguists" fluent in "bending and twisting" they bodies, saying everything they need to say and the getting the required results..."emotionless eyes, floating lips, useless sighs, and the all time great...the relentless stare..." MASTERS I TELL YOU!...MASTERS...not a word uttered, but once given to any man...get's the message loud and clear...and they in turn quite calmly, laugh at the lured prey!...
WOMEN ARE WOMEN!!... often glorifed! seldom degraded...the causers of "the game" i believe...exteremely cunning beings...a specie not to be messed with!!
From the other half of the playing feild...are the masters of disguise "MEN" from player to PIMP to MAC..men have some game i must admit...but women...that's a whole other story by itself.
I do love women no doubt, but man oh man...the drama you have if you don't "RTFM" for them...
signed: careful male in the female playfield
Friday, September 12, 2008
Constant
I've lived...i've loved...but to my wonder i've never realize that life "in mine" has it's reoccurring decimals...
likely to the nailing of a wall...i'm patterned with holes and loops of reminders of what i had, have and can have...but im nearly not as wanting, as i am needing the holes to be filled...
Light beams through, burning the insides of many a hole, but cannot be hid by it's ray...instead shows the damage made from reckless hitting and wanting and feeling and guessing....and most of all failing...!!
Constant pillar...lend your wisdom and strength to a weaken beam...broken and marred by conscience lifting.
Peel your steadiness to the level of my eye and show the way of "oneness" and stability along with certain growth and uncertain shaking....
Stand taller than all others! Unveil your truth and promise, cause others to crack, swizzle and fall to your power...just because of your unshaken "constant"
Show me your face, for too many have hailed in you attributes, for i have found the time for resistance has ended, yet i've not released my first intention, or first step towards my solid ground.
"Constant real"...i await your firm stroke of correction and guidance towards our unending harmony...i lust for thee...hence i pray thee well...my hands tired of dust of impostors, that stain and jeopardize my allegiance to the very want i need!!!.....
Thirsty for your eyes, craving your speech...embrace me soon...i feel the slipping of belief that you exist!!...
signed: dwindling trailblazer
likely to the nailing of a wall...i'm patterned with holes and loops of reminders of what i had, have and can have...but im nearly not as wanting, as i am needing the holes to be filled...
Light beams through, burning the insides of many a hole, but cannot be hid by it's ray...instead shows the damage made from reckless hitting and wanting and feeling and guessing....and most of all failing...!!
Constant pillar...lend your wisdom and strength to a weaken beam...broken and marred by conscience lifting.
Peel your steadiness to the level of my eye and show the way of "oneness" and stability along with certain growth and uncertain shaking....
Stand taller than all others! Unveil your truth and promise, cause others to crack, swizzle and fall to your power...just because of your unshaken "constant"
Show me your face, for too many have hailed in you attributes, for i have found the time for resistance has ended, yet i've not released my first intention, or first step towards my solid ground.
"Constant real"...i await your firm stroke of correction and guidance towards our unending harmony...i lust for thee...hence i pray thee well...my hands tired of dust of impostors, that stain and jeopardize my allegiance to the very want i need!!!.....
Thirsty for your eyes, craving your speech...embrace me soon...i feel the slipping of belief that you exist!!...
signed: dwindling trailblazer
Crimson Tears
Uncried tears, falls harder than twin towers ever could. Unspoken words, shout louder than atom bombs ever could!...But Crimson tears...are the curse brought to self!
Untouched skin for months on end, bare scars of emotional disconnection..."cut!, slash! severe dash!...loose, blistered, tentacles of feeling and unsatisfaction lurk, aimlessly in avenues of darkness...seeking the very semblance of love and security.
A whim of uncharted ground seeked by a somewhat "secure" spirit in the fog of lost love; like a sixth sense...my will is grabbed willingly by the kaput vessel of passion...
Unknowing of any betrayal, i'm lured to the tunnel of unconditional love and showered by gifts of apprehensive commitment.
Sale of my friendship, equates to the dear price of Crimson tears...now the unraveling of my soul, if still continues to go unguided...will see the crucifixion of my innocent soul.
Caught in the whirlwind of desire, sent to the rescue of the emotionless, my own heart now grows cold, for i have conceived an unwanted seed to my "erotica"...
Camouflaged parasites, slowly eat away from the flowery relation of "broken & innocent"
To sever, is to commit suicide, but will birth a new livelihood of platonic relation in the other world of want...
"Far fetched...far gone...too deep to even know what air smells like" Drop one!! the hardest hit i've ever gotten by the softest, wettest tear...
Light pink, with mixes of the warmth of fantasy & the salt of poison...Crimson tears...you ought to beware...once fallen, stains and smells of ownership..."Lost, yet can be saved, but must give up! Birthright! Self & want....future and hope, to live another day less of smears of jealousy and contention!
Must i say...i'm victim of my own softness...now breathing the stench of my own...
"Crimson pool....."
signed: young wise fool, of unordered want.
Untouched skin for months on end, bare scars of emotional disconnection..."cut!, slash! severe dash!...loose, blistered, tentacles of feeling and unsatisfaction lurk, aimlessly in avenues of darkness...seeking the very semblance of love and security.
A whim of uncharted ground seeked by a somewhat "secure" spirit in the fog of lost love; like a sixth sense...my will is grabbed willingly by the kaput vessel of passion...
Unknowing of any betrayal, i'm lured to the tunnel of unconditional love and showered by gifts of apprehensive commitment.
Sale of my friendship, equates to the dear price of Crimson tears...now the unraveling of my soul, if still continues to go unguided...will see the crucifixion of my innocent soul.
Caught in the whirlwind of desire, sent to the rescue of the emotionless, my own heart now grows cold, for i have conceived an unwanted seed to my "erotica"...
Camouflaged parasites, slowly eat away from the flowery relation of "broken & innocent"
To sever, is to commit suicide, but will birth a new livelihood of platonic relation in the other world of want...
"Far fetched...far gone...too deep to even know what air smells like" Drop one!! the hardest hit i've ever gotten by the softest, wettest tear...
Light pink, with mixes of the warmth of fantasy & the salt of poison...Crimson tears...you ought to beware...once fallen, stains and smells of ownership..."Lost, yet can be saved, but must give up! Birthright! Self & want....future and hope, to live another day less of smears of jealousy and contention!
Must i say...i'm victim of my own softness...now breathing the stench of my own...
"Crimson pool....."
signed: young wise fool, of unordered want.
Divination to past!
Visions of past, glanced and streamed...like rain drops to remind the petals of tenders flowers "one more day to grow even more lovely" such are my thoughts to haunt me of a future i thought has long past!
To lean to madness! just the thought of the thought grinds me to dust!...is it real!? must it come to past? or am i just jealous of the further existence of 'its' soul!?
With tightened fist, and air tight eyes, i fight the thought of the thought of the "past" that may lead to a "past" that i thought had "passed!"....get my drift...
I have surrendered my heart to the wind of folly before, but i have since captured it, to nurture it to trust, love & truth...it is still held, by my chest of unwillingness and fear! Like a grandmother releasing her first born grandchild to take that first step; anticipation & anxiety all in a bundle, just not to see anything happen to him...likewise i cherish my heart more and more...so much! that i have to learn the art of letting go...
This past that blows to haunt, come to change & create strife...but "if" it is destined to be! it shall!...and "time is the patient tester of all transformation..."i hope i pass the test of flames for passion!" because i risk the loss of an entire eternity because of pride & ego...
signed: mass scared by the constant past!
To lean to madness! just the thought of the thought grinds me to dust!...is it real!? must it come to past? or am i just jealous of the further existence of 'its' soul!?
With tightened fist, and air tight eyes, i fight the thought of the thought of the "past" that may lead to a "past" that i thought had "passed!"....get my drift...
I have surrendered my heart to the wind of folly before, but i have since captured it, to nurture it to trust, love & truth...it is still held, by my chest of unwillingness and fear! Like a grandmother releasing her first born grandchild to take that first step; anticipation & anxiety all in a bundle, just not to see anything happen to him...likewise i cherish my heart more and more...so much! that i have to learn the art of letting go...
This past that blows to haunt, come to change & create strife...but "if" it is destined to be! it shall!...and "time is the patient tester of all transformation..."i hope i pass the test of flames for passion!" because i risk the loss of an entire eternity because of pride & ego...
signed: mass scared by the constant past!
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