Pandora's Box

Back from whence I came, I thought I lost things in my absence. Only to recognize that I was carefully “put away” by a pesky sibling. Parts of my life was missing! Some in pages, some in photos, some in folders. But just as I thought I had to live without them; They all make a very untimely reappearance!
I call it “PANDORA’S BOX”; particularly filled with death, or should I say, “things I thought were dead”. Out of it arises dormant feelings of the past! Most of which were guilty of love and pride of scorn. I sat for hours hypnotized by unspoken words loud enough to drill a hole in the wall, rich enough to pay for my blindness and deep enough to form wells of inspiration.
This “unfinished” had and still has many chapters to be written. And to think, “a picture says a thousand words” what about an album? And the many other mental images I remember?
Completely the opposite of the true story of “PANDORA’S BOX” but they are somewhat similar in some aspects. I’ve released a spirit of questions to myself, and I’ve begun to search my heart, often paying a blind eye to the obvious truth of which I feel! So, as a real homosapien I doubt myself and persuade myself that it isn’t so!!
My feelings are as real as the BOX I’m scared to look upon! Reminding me of the true love I’ve once had! The love that I’ve betrayed! Something I thought I didn’t want! But truth be told “I needed it.” Like lungs need air! “Yes! I know! Why cry over spilt milk?” because that milk was the life for me, now traded for second best! And to someone who would never be deserving in a million moons!
This “BOX” is powerful! Resurrecting pain as fuel to make a decision I may regret for the rest of my life…”letting go!”
Yes I have someone in my life that I love dearly, but I can never forget “her” and the things I have done. I am haunted daily by her absence and in her very words “can you love two people at the same time?” I hope there’s a method to madness! One of which that will bring correction to years of mistakes and erase the hate I’ve planted in surrounding souls called “friends.”
“Why did I find this box now!!? Is it a sign to follow? Or is it a lesson to learn from? Or is it one to finally discard?”
A flood of memories wash me away with each turn of a page, each letter unfolded! I know her! And she knows me!! Funny she knows me now, for I have always told her she doesn’t and could never figure me out!! But, little did I know that I didn’t even know myself!!
Who’s the loser now? I laugh at myself! Reminding me of what I had and how I treated it! “Young and dumb” that’s what I was!
Now young and wise after a harsh lesson learnt. I was swallowed by self pity having no one to blame but myself for my demise.
NOW KARMA WAS RETURNED!! Ain’t that a bitch!! Feelings and thoughts I thought I never had, begin to emerge and spew in jealousy. Trying to hide the green I feel, instead I’m scented with disgust!
“I’m tired of the masks!” I’ve lived with them too long. Now my ticking time bomb is ready to explode… at the worst possible time!! No longer must I be a memory, but I must be a legacy!”
To you my long lost!! In memory of you! In memory of us! The US now buried in PANDORA’S BOX… to die? Or to live again?